Do you ever feel like you are constantly criticized, nagged, or sometimes even feel disrespected by your spouse or any of your family members? Do you sometimes feel no matter how much effort you put into it, nothing seems to satisfy them?
Due to this, you might find yourself not being on the same page as your loved ones in your regular day-to-day life. You just wish both of you could live together on better terms and enjoy and relax life more. Well, if you’ve faced this situation, then you might be suffering from Adult ADHD.
In this blog, we would be discussing what ADHD is and how it might affect your relationships. Additionally, we will also give you some essential tips that might help you recover from Adult ADHD.
First, let’s understand what Adult ADHD actually means.
Adult attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a mental health disorder that includes a mixture of ongoing problems, such as difficulty paying concentration, hyperactivity, and rash behavior. Adult ADHD can lead to volatile relationships, poor performance in professional life and/or at school, low self-confidence, low self-respect, and other difficulties in your regular life. It can cause misunderstandings, dissatisfactions, and displeasure among your closest relationships.
Although by definition it is called “Adult ADHD”, symptoms start showing up at an early age and continue into your teens and then into adulthood. ADHD is primarily diagnosed in childhood, but it starts showing major symptoms during adulthood.
However, in many cases, ADHD is not usually found in children because it is not recognized until the person is an adult. This is because Adult ADHD symptoms may not be as explicit as ADHD symptoms present in children.
Several adults with ADHD don’t even know that they have it. They just simply think that day-to-day lives can get stressful sometimes. They might think that it’s too hard for them to focus and prioritize their duties in practical life - which may lead them to miss crucial meetings, important errands and may even cause them to fail to remember about family gatherings or other social plans. The failure to control impulses can go from eagerness to stressful mood swings to upheavals of outrage.
Let’s take a look at some of the signs and symptoms of Adult ADHD. The most common symptoms of Adult ADHD are:
● Difficulty paying attention
● Regulating Emotions
Following, we have listed some more possible symptoms for Adult ADHD:
● Disruption and problems prioritizing tasks
● Poor performance on time management tasks
● Problems Focusing on something important
● Inconvenience performing multiple tasks
● Extreme stress
● Anger Issues
● Depression and Anxiety
● Imprudence Behavior
● Lack of foresight
● Incessant emotional episodes
● Trouble adapting to different situations
The four primary symptoms we mentioned previously in the blog were: Impulsivity, Difficulty paying attention, and Regulating Emotions. These four are the most common symptoms of ADHD found in adults. So, you might be wondering - what should you expect with these symptoms?
Impulsivity is the tendency to act without thinking. When a person says and does things that may be inconsiderate without realizing it before it's too late - they’re being impulsive.
For example, if someone yells something out without thinking twice and realizing later, they said something they should not have in the first place. If someone buys something they had not originally planned to or without giving it a second thought, that’s an impulsive behavior.
If someone crosses the road without looking both ways, that is also an impulsive activity.
To some extent, this kind of behavior is usually considered normal in children or young teenagers and isn’t necessarily a sign of trouble for them. For an adult however, it can be seen as a little abnormal. The reason is that it's normal for children is because their brains are still developing while adults already have developed, mature brains.
Hyperactivity means someone constantly moves, including in situations in which it is inappropriate, or excessively fidgets, taps, or sometimes talks without even realizing what they are doing. In adults, it may be due to extreme restlessness or tiring others out with constant activity.
Difficulty Paying Attention:
One may have Adult ADHD if they have difficulty paying attention in their daily lives. For example, they may be inattentive during regular routine conversations. They can zone out during conversations, which may make the other person feel ignored and devalued.
Adults with ADHD can also be distracted easily, which leads them to forget their household chores and errands. They may later remember what was promised or discussed after it’s way too late.
Some adults with ADHD may have problems regulating emotions. ADHD affects executive function. Executive function is the brain’s capacity to regulate emotions, plan activities, and control impulses. Adults with ADHD may have more difficulty calming themselves when they feel emotional or angry and may outburst, or even engage in more impulsive expressions of anger.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder can affect your most significant relationships. Irritation, impulsivity, and other ADHD side effects can mix outrage, dissatisfaction, and hurt affections in your relationships for both the individual with ADHD and their partners.
ADHD between couples can bring “the worst of times.” Their relationship sometimes can get so strained that they barely talk to each other about problems that are affecting their relationship. Whenever they try to do so, they may end up screaming at each other or just neglecting their other half’s presence. The frustration gets to a point where both of you feel disappointed and lonely.
If your partner is the one with Adult ADHD, you might feel disregarded and lonely. You may feel a sense of disconnection from your partner due to an exhibition of specific symptoms and may feel stressed from inadvertently carrying more responsibilities which would lead to frustration that certain problems seem unsolvable because they do not fully understand what your partner is going through.
Your partner may start to only care about things that interest them and not care about you. They may appear disloyal to their words and promises. They might seem to behave like a kid rather than a grown-up. Once you start to pester them about these issues, things may take a troublesome turn for the worse. Following this, the two partners may either argue all the time or stop communicating. To top it all off, you may be worried about being burdened with family obligations while your partner may only be interested in themselves.
On the other hand, if you are the one with Adult ADHD, you might feel that your partner has become an annoying person. You may feel stressed from managing symptoms and might think you are very different from your partner because of different brain functions. This would sometimes even make you consider yourself a burden because you would feel like a drain on your partner and the relationship. This would end up making you feel isolated and alone because your symptoms are often hard to relate to and not easily articulated.
The individual you cherished has become some kind of a "control freak" who's attempting to deal with the intricate details of your life. Regardless of how diligently you try, you can't live up to your partner's desires.
Both of these situations can eventually result in ending up your relationship. If these points sound familiar and may have happened with you, your relationship is definitely suffering from Adult ADHD. These ADHD indications in your relationship have seriously harmed your relationship. However, fortunately, once you understand what ADHD truly is and how it messes up important relationships, things can turn around. It is possible to restore your relationships back to the way they once were. At the point when you figure out how to distinguish the difficulties ADHD brings to relationships and the ways you can get rid of them, you can remake your lives and live peacefully, just like the good old days.
Communication Is Key:
Like all relationships, communication is most important. Talk to your partner more about how they feel and express your emotions honestly. Just try to control yourself so that you do not burst out in anger or get disappointed. Talk to them about how they feel, and then express how you feel so that both of you can avoid misunderstandings. Misunderstandings, doubt, and assumptions can be some of the biggest causes of Adult ADHD. But if you and your partner sort it out like mature adults, this would not be an issue at all.
You should focus on developing strategies together to minimize the impacts of symptoms for both partners. Whenever you feel like things are going to get heated, try to talk to them there and then, and try to channel the anger or sadness that comes from the apparent symptoms of Adult ADHD. Always ensure your partner feels the same way about you - try your best to make them happy and satisfy their needs.
Understand Each Other:
There are only two possible scenarios for ADHD and partnerships. Either you are the one with ADHD or your partner has it, and in both cases, you must understand your other half fully.
Both of you must understand that everyone in a relationship is experiencing things differently, and if there are any misunderstandings or dissatisfactions, they need to be eliminated immediately. Understanding that while you may be feeling certain emotions, your partner may be experiencing similar emotions because of how ADHD affects the person with it and the people around them.
Some of the most significant symptoms of ADHD are inattention and distractibility, thus making organization and time management possibly the biggest challenges that adults with the disorder face. The prospect of managing time and getting organized, whether it be at home, work, or anywhere may leave you feeling overwhelmed.
If you have ADHD, you must keep track of time and schedule everything in your daily routine accordingly. Time for sleep, having fun, completing work assignments on time, giving enough time to your family and especially your partner, everything must be followed accordingly.
You need to make a proper schedule for each day and work things out in an appropriate way. And if you think you might forget some of your daily routine chores, you can even note them down on your phone or in a notebook.
Organizing yourself in a proper manner would not only make you feel less stressed all the time, but it would also ensure that you are giving the right amount of time to everyone and everything in your daily life. It would also please your partner, and you yourself lead both of you to live an extraordinary life together.
We hope you would feel better with your ADHD after following our tips properly. We know ADHD can be difficult to live with and obviously affects the people with it, but also the people around them. The most important things to remember are: understanding your partner well, being organized with your daily life routine, and last but not least, understanding that communication is vital.
This fosters an environment where both partners can be heard, understood, and work together to work through the difficulties of their lives with ADHD.
Trifecta Health has multiple locations for ADHD treatment in NYC to help patients to get the best possible treatment for their symptoms.
We've opened up new ADHD telehealth appointments!
Book appointment online
Simply click the link above and pick a date that works for you.
ADHD and Relationships Video
© Trifecta Health 2023